I'm Taking Off to Gamera's Stomping Grounds...

I'm heading to Tokyo for a few days, so the postings will be somewhat sporadic. But they'll be back in full swing in a few days.

Happy Green Day! (The Japanese holiday, not the group.)

Credit Where Credit's Due Department.

One of the sites that I frequent is POVonline, operated by the co-creator of GROO, a writer of Garfield & Welcome Back, Kotter and one who seems to know everyone who has ever lived in Hollywood, TV and comics. If you want to be astounded by the wealth of info he's acquired, go to: news from me and click around.

So while going through his archives, I discovered a poem performed on the game show "I've Got a Secret" circa 1965. I wrote a similar joke awhile back but this guy did it much better. Here it is:

That one should leave no stone unturned
Is something I quite early learned
But with so many stones around
I could not turn them all, I found
I spotted terns over the sea
One turned around and spotted me
For spotting the best suit I owned
I tried to leave no tern unstoned.

Once again, assimilated by the collective...

Well, I saw the concert and I must say that I got my money's worth. (Of course, had it been free, I'd've been even more satisfied.) It was pretty jam-packed, maybe not capacity but close. I was probably the oldest non-parent there and the only foreigner as far as I could tell (I did meet 2 others on the way out.)

And coincidentally, a half dozen of my students stood behind me (so I had to behave.) It turns out that these six are in the Rhythm Dance Club and were given freebies by my co-worker. But more about them later.

I had a very good time, but I have to admit that I was getting a little restless near the end (I didn't really care whether they encored or not, but it turned out to be worth it.) And there was a lot of banter, chatting between songs for a total of about 20 minutes. Yet, I didn't feel cheated; I found myself understanding about 30% of what they said and the audience sure appreciated the camaraderie.

As for the music, it was cool to recognize their influences. I caught some ELO, WHO, ABBA tributes and I'm sure there were more. I enjoyed most of the tunes, some of which I knew, and I bopped along with the rest of the crowd, singing along when I could. (The TEEN TITANS theme I know by heart.) This was their 10th anniversary tour and they played a medley of their hits with a video screen playing in the background. It showed clips from their TV show "Pa Pa Pa Pa Puffy", which ran a few years ago plus videos and other footage. Pretty neat. My favourite moment was when the bass player did a trademarked Rock jump and landed on his ass, causing Yumi to start corpsing (giggling) in the middle of singing.

Back to the six. They stood there throughout, applauding politely after each song, but not really getting into it. They had obviously never heard any Puffy tunes and it may have been their first concert, so they looked a bit freaked out by the display. I think one of two of the girls wanted to participate, but the glares of the others prevented them. It was interesting to see their mini-collective not swayed by the mass-collective.

All-in-all, a fun night out and I bought a "Strange Virgin" t-shirt that I'll flaunt on the site someday.

Puffy the Magic Drag-Queens...

I've kept it a secret up until now, but tonight I'm attending Puffy in concert! They're here in Sendai for their Japanese tour, promoting "モグラライク" (Mogura-like...it either means "I like moles", or "like a mole".) I've been kind of bubbling with school-boy enthusiasm all week since I picked up a ticket last week (for 5000￥) and I've been trying to find someone with similar eagerness, to no avail.

This is where the "disturbing news" comes into effect...one of my co-workers approached me last night with the news, "I have several FREE tickets to Puffy. Do you know anyone who might be interested?" I was only a little irked in dishing out the 50 bucks last week, but much more irked when I couldn't find anyone to attend with me, and they'd get to go in for FREE! I suspect that Puffy's popularity has waned considerably in Japan, yet they're still hot in America (and possibly Canada too.) Well, I'll take this with its grain of salt and enjoy the concert anyway. Who knows, maybe it'll be so empty that I can meet the band! Dare to Dream!

And Now for Another Musical Interlude...

Here is the tune that I sang last year. It's from a Curtain Call musical from 1978 entitled "UGLAHOMA". (See post way-back on April 6th for another song.)

Oh, What a Terrible Morning
(Sung to the tune: Oh, What a Beautiful Morning from Oklahoma)

Oh, the sun rose too early this morning.
The sun rose too early this morning.
The light is so bright, that it’s hurting my sight.
We can’t face today after drinking all night.

Oh, what a terrible morning.
We only got two hours sleep.
Last night, good spirits were flowing.
This morning, the tatami sure reeks!

I changed the word carpet to tatami to give it a Japanese flavour.

Willkommen, bienvenue, Welcome...I'm Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret

So LAST night was the Welcome Party that I so foolishly thought I was attending last week (see April 23rd's posting).

Where There's Fire...There's Smoke.

If smoke enters a room and the smoke alarm doesn't make a sound, is there a fire? It's questions like this that keep one up at night.

As I was growing up, we always knew dinner was ready by the sound of the smoke alarm reverberating throughout the house. Well, I've kept this fine tradition alive by burning various meals, tonight's charred cuisine consisted of sausages. I'd made similar concoctions in the past, with nary a peep from my smoke alarm. Consequently, last week I decided to change the batteries within my alarm. So tonight, was an ideal time to put the ringer through the wringer. Yet, again, any tintinabulatory tweaks were not forthcoming.

It just so happens that tonight, I had to go pay my rent in person (it'll take a month to get the direct withdrawal set up again this year) and tried to make my point understood that my smoke alarm was not in working order. She finally figured out my meaning and, 10 minutes later, the landlady/ caretaker was over to my abode. She yanked on the cord to the fan above my stove and it seemed to work fine, so she was ready to leave. I pointed to the smoke alarm and she said that it must be the batteries. I insisted that the batteries were brand new and she went outside and rang the doorbell. I thought this was rather odd and tried to show her my burnt pan as the cause of smoke, trying to get her to understand. I pointed to the smoke alarm and once again she went outside and rang the doorbell. She took a gander throughout my apartment and could see NO smoke alarm anywhere. Then it dawned on me! My smoke alarm is actually the doorbell. There is NO smoke alarm in my apartment. I felt like a grade-A shmuck and sent her on her merry way.

It's interesting that when I first got my place, they went to great lengths to install a fire extinguisher near the entranceway. But they don't go to the trouble of installing a method of detecting fire. I guess that'll be on my list next time I go to the hardware store. At least then, I'll finally be able to tell when dinner is ready!

Don't Dilly-Dahly...check it out!

In my leisurely moments (which are getting fewer and fewer these days), I check out various other blogs, one of which is Cartoon Brew which has lots of cool info about vintage cartoons.

They had a posting on Gremlins and it's not the nasty little buggers from the Dante film, but rather a flurry of fine fellows from a Roald Dahl story written in the late 40's and illustrated by the Disney crew. The story itself can be found here, Dahl-ing. The scan is excellent and for those straining eyes, they've even reproduced the script in large print. The illustrations are beautiful, and the story is about 50 pages long.

Go to the homepage of the site and you'll find all kinds of Dahl goodies, including teaching guides. I plan to borrow some ideas for my lessons.

I wonder if the cause of modern-day computer glitches can be attributed to Cyber-Gremlins. It would explain a lot!

Strikes, Spares and Misses.

One of the bars that I frequent in the wee hours of the morning is called 305. It's this little hole-in-the-wall place that calls itself a Speakeasy and is very casual and relatively cheap. Periodically, they have a mini-bowling tournament amongst its patrons and it's a fun way to kill a few hours on a Sunday.

A moderate amount of beers is consumed and the events' proceedings include a bizarre Cos-play portion. After the first match, the winners then adorn various costumes and parade around, humiliating themselves and partaking in the next game in Fancy dress. I was fortunate enough to win and got to wear a ballerina tutu with a long-necked Swan extending from my nether regions. Other costumes included, Wrestling masks, Nurse outfits, Baby garb...you get the idea. A Swan-shaped extension to ones privates does lead to some goosing and other practical jokes. Well, much jocularity ensued.

I am in no way a prude, but it behooves me to accept horseplay accompanied with large bowling balls. Fortunately no ones' feet were crushed in the pranks where balls were thrown at each other.

Unfortunately, I had to catch a bus so I couldn't attend the post-bowling party but they'll be saving me my First-place prize. I scored much better when I wore a prosthesis. If only real life weren't like that.

I Wonder If You Can Get Spam-flavoured?

I'm really busy today, so just a quick link to Monty Python ice cream. Enjoy it! MP Ice Cream.

A word of advice to partygoers...

Before you accept an invite to a work-related party, find out a few more details. I expected a big blowout with all of my work colleagues in what I thought would be a welcome party for new teachers. Again, those nagging details should be ironed out. Never one to turn my nose up at a party, I accepted to go, but before you drop 5,000 yen (about 48 bucks Canajun) on a night out, find out who else is going, why there is a party and the venue.

Now, it was fun spending a couple of hours with these eight colleagues, but it would have been more fun with more people. It took place in a Hotel, so I expected a more grandiose room, what we got was what seemed to be a closet with a long table. Not even a picture on the wall. The food was superb, but nothing that I couldn't get at a cheaper nomihodae (drinking party).

Now, I went into this venture blind. What I don't understand is why people go to an all-you-can-drink affair and then drink tea and orange juice. Sure, they had to drive, and I respect them for not drinking and driving, but why spend 50 bucks?

I sound down on this gig and I'm not. It was fun, it just wasn't what I expected for the money. Caveat Emptor!

Climb Every Mountain.

...fjord every stream. Well, I didn't fjord a stream today, but I did climb a mountain. Today, we took all the students to a temple (SaiHoji??) and then bussed up a mountainside.

The temple was an excuse for the kiddies to run around, say a quick prayer and then dash back into the bus. It is SO unPC to say that all temples look alike, so I won't. But, this temple actually looked different. Apparently the old temple near this site was getting too run down, so they built a new one. Now, I'm not an officiando of temple lore and won't pretend to be one, but I feel that "the Golder it is, the Gaudier it is." But that's just me.

Onto the mountain... I was in the "jumbo-taxi" (an 8-passenger van) with a few select teachers (vps, the nurse and those without a home-room). I had a nice long nap awaiting our arrival. Everyone then eats a bento-lunch (no Kikkoman!), ascends the mountain via a ski-lift, then play some games. I cockily said to one teacher that I could walk up the mountain, before he finishes his lunch. AND I had told all my students in their introductory lesson to me, that a hobby of mine was mountain-climbing. What better opportunity was it for me to prove myself. So after 10 minutes of hiking uphill, I was exhausted (hay fever season, accompanied by asthma and a winter-long siesta from exercise contributed to my fatigue.) But I trekked on, gathering up the lunches that students had tossed off the lift and cheered on by all the kids en route. BUT the teachers were definitely NOT impressed! This isn't normal behaviour for a teacher...shock!

I made it about 80% of the way up the mountain and fortunately there was a spot where I could leap upon an empty seat. I found out that the lifts down will close at 12:30 (I started at noon, it was now 12:25). The guy at the top was also NOT impressed, until I showed him the garbage I had collected and he smiled his one-toothed smile. I was too tired to be nervous on the way down and it was breathtaking (in more ways than one.)

So I reaped in the praises of the students, was sneered at by a few teachers and alas, NO I did not beat the guy to the top. But I had a good time, got some well-needed exercise and survived.

Tonight is a Welcome party for all the teachers, so we'll see whether I collect flack or kudos. Wish me luck.

Congratulations on the Arrival of Suri Cruise!

Actually, who really gives a rat's ass about more news from last year's champion for "The couple whose names we're most sick of hearing about"? But the birth of their Tom-Kitten" is news to some. The parents claim that it's a Hebrew name for "princess". Well, the Israelites state that there's only a very vague connection with that name's meaning. And why is an avowed Scientologist giving his daughter a Hebrew name? So did he really name it after the Hebrew nickname for Sarah or is the meaning more ominous?

In Japanese, the name SURI (掏り or すり) means pickpocket or sneak thief! What kind of a career are Tom & Katie planning for their daughter? Will she be a villain in the next Batman movie starring her mom?

I Found My Thrills...

...On Silent Hill.

I've never played the game, never read the comics nor ever knew a movie existed. I just like the pun...it should be used in the promos.
If you DO want to learn more, you can always visit the fine people at SONY's Silent Hill.

What the Heck is that Gibberish?

I have a request of my faithful readers out in cyberland. I occasionally write down some Kanji 漢字(Chinese Characters) in my posts. For those who live in Japan or those who have left Japan but brought their PC with them, reading these characters is easy (understanding them is another matter). I often get emails from home and, if there is any punctuation, it can't be interpreted by my computer and it comes up with some bizarre Chinese characters to try and compensate.

So my request is this: Does anyone know of a program that can be downloaded for free that will interpret Kanji? If so, please send it to me in a comment or to my
aoxoltl atmark hotmail.com
address. I will post it and then I can add more Kanji to my postings and make my Japanese friends happy. YOU may actually learn something too.
(ps. It's not that I'm so lazy that I can't research it myself, but rather, that since I can already read Kanji, I have no idea if the download is useful or not so I can't make recommendations.)

Show me Show You 醤油 Kikkoman

This is just too warped not to share with you. I came across an ad for "Kikkoman Soysauce" (醤油, shouyu is Japanese for soy sauce) featuring a superhero called Kikkoman. If you've ever eaten a 弁当, bento (lunchbox), you often receive a little plastic, fish-shaped container of soy sauce inside. As you can see Kikkoman has a fish-shaped head. I see that he fights ketchup and vinegar makers and helps other needy people (I'm not sure why the dog hangs itself though). Okay, enough blathering...here's the link.

Odorama...Coming to a Cinema Near You!

I just read that "The New World", the so-so historical epic with Colin Farrell will be released in "Smell-o-vision" here in 2 theaters in Japan. Fragrances of flowers and eucalyptus etc. will waft through the aisles during appropriate romantic/ dramatic moments.

I am NOT looking forward to a re-release of Blazing Saddles!

The Seventh Inning Stretch Marks.

...an interesting tradition. In the 6th inning, in addition to the cute young girls carrying a tankard of draught beer on their backs, snacks or OJ, young hucksters sell balloons to the fans.

Then during the 7th inning, everyone inflates these balloons, which now resemble red or white, meter-long spermatozoa. After the team song, the balloons are released, shooting off into an orgasmic display of delight, then you see fireworks and everyone goes and smokes a cigarette.

I don't know what it does for team spirit, but it got me excited!

They Suck, But They Have Fun While Sucking!

(Wait...that doesn't sound right.)
Anyway, I saw a Rakuten Eagles baseball game tonight. It was my first time in the stadium for a professional game (I saw our school's Boys' team play on Saturday where they won 8-2) and it was a ton of fun!

The group mentality of the Japanese people is once again verified during their sporting events. They have a chant and/ or a song for each player that is blissfully bellowed out upon their players arrival to the dugout. They harmoniously announce each player, cheering them on, accompanied by the rattling of megaphones and a hypnotic dance. I was happy to be assimilated into their collective and joined in the chorus as best as I could. Alas, my Canadian companion and myself were unsuccessful in convincing them to join us in a few Canuck chants ("Nah, Nah, Naaah, Nah--Nah, Nah, Naaah, Nah, Hey, He-ey, Good bye" when changing pitchers for example),
but we did get a few odd stares from our neighbours.

The game itself was undramatic. A close 1st inning was tied at one apiece but shortly thereafter the visiting team (Chiba's Lotte...last years pennant winner) took over and trounced us gleefully. The final score was 8-3 for the bad guys.

But who cares?!? It was a great time, a nice night (cool but with no breeze) and the first of many games I plan to attend.

Tomorrow, I hope to tell you about the seventh inning stretch. Now THAT is a sight to behold...

It's Genius!

Here we have Monty Python and the Holy Grail "Camelot" scene done with "Lego" bricks. I love it!