2021-12-06

A Stick with an 'orses 'ead 'andle.

Sadly I must announce the demise of one of my treasured items from my youth. A *Stick with an 'orses 'ead 'andle (*shoehorn) has been with me since high school and I can remember performing "The Lion and Albert" at a coffee house with this stick in 'and. Sure my accent couldn't hold a candle to Stanley Holloway but I gave it a whirl.

I accidently stepped on it on my way out to take the garbage to the recycling bin. Grrr! It's a clean break and may be salvageable, I'll take it to school tomorrow to see if it can be repaired. Meanwhile, listen to the aforementioned Stanley Holloway tell the tale. 


Read along:

The Lion and Albert



There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That's noted for fresh air and fun,
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.

A grand little lad was young Albert,
All dressed in his best; quite a swell
With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle,
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

They didn't think much to the Ocean:
The waves, they was fiddlin' and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,
Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.

So, seeking for further amusement,
They paid and went into the Zoo,
Where they'd Lions and Tigers and Camels,
And old ale and sandwiches too.

There were one great big Lion called Wallace;
His nose were all covered with scars —
He lay in a somnolent posture,
With the side of his face on the bars.

Now Albert had heard about Lions,
How they was ferocious and wild  —
To see Wallace lying so peaceful,
Well, it didn't seem right to the child.

So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showing a morsel of fear,
Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle
And pushed it in Wallace's ear.

You could see that the Lion didn't like it,
For giving a kind of a roll,
He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im,
And swallowed the little lad 'ole.

Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence,
And didn't know what to do next,
Said 'Mother! Yon Lion's 'et Albert',
And Mother said 'Well, I am vexed!'

Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom —
Quite rightly, when all's said and done —
Complained to the Animal Keeper,
That the Lion had eaten their son.

The keeper was quite nice about it;
He said 'What a nasty mishap.
Are you sure that it's your boy he's eaten?'
Pa said "Am I sure? There's his cap!'

The manager had to be sent for.
He came and he said 'What's to do?'
Pa said 'Yon Lion's 'et Albert,
'And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too.'

Then Mother said, 'Right's right, young feller;
I think it's a shame and a sin,
For a lion to go and eat Albert,
And after we've paid to come in.'

The manager wanted no trouble,
He took out his purse right away,
Saying 'How much to settle the matter?'
And Pa said "What do you usually pay?'

But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone.
She said 'No! someone's got to be summonsed' —
So that was decided upon.

Then off they went to the P'lice Station,
In front of the Magistrate chap;
They told 'im what happened to Albert,
And proved it by showing his cap.

The Magistrate gave his opinion
That no one was really to blame
And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
Would have further sons to their name.

At that Mother got proper blazing,
'And thank you, sir, kindly,' said she.
'What waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!'

2021-11-03

el Dia de los Muertos

I have a LOT of pictures and videos to trudge through from Saturday's and Sunday's parties so rather than doing that, I have sat on my butt all evening instead. BUT I have a day off tomorrow so hopefully I'll get my act together then. I also have about 400 kids' drawings from one school to scrutinize and put a sticker upon them. I'll be very choosy about which ones I share. Although, here is the highlights of pics from my other schools.


I kept it simple with my Grade 4 classes and just asked them to draw a Jack o' Lantern on a pumpkin template. 



This gal went above and beyond the call of duty and drew the most adorable cosplaying cat ever!


On the reverse of the picture, they can draw any Halloween scene they wish. In the interim, I was taking photos with a half dozen kids at a time, dressed in the innumerable costumes I provided. 








At the cinema, I picked up an interesting flyer for a forthcoming movie. 


Feel free to print this picture off and you can colour it in yourself.


Sayonara, Tyranno!


Here is a remnant from my Halloween posts that I couldn't squeeze into a regular post. Some Crypto-currency.







I'm only UMA I'm missing is the Yeti. I'll keep an eye out for it in the secondary market.


Anyway, enough for tonight, here is what I wore for the kiddies today. About one kid in each class yelled out "Remember Me" which is the Japanese title for Coco.



2021-10-31

Happy Spamoween!

I am utterly exhausted by ten days straight of Halloween lessons, Halloween blogging, Halloween tv and movies, Halloween treats, Halloween parties, and Halloween. Now that it is nearing its final minutes before November, I have never been more pleased. 

Instead of uploading videos and photos, I spent the evening watching Snyder's Army of Thieves, a prequel to Army of the Dead. I expected it to be bland and background noise while I did other stuff. Instead I found it to be intriguing and enjoyable, mainly thanks to the lead "couple". Ah well.

I did upload 80 pics of costumes and frivolity but no videos except for this one. I've regaled you in the past weeks of my displeasure in not finding a carve-able pumpkin, so I made do with an eggplant and yesterday I tried a mushroom. Doesn't really work. (I had a few other veggies but they decided to turn rotten in the space of a week, so they got tossed.)


So I tried a block of Spam instead!


Eww! 


Add a bit of Ketchup in the mouth for effect (and flavour).


And behold a Spamwich.


Taadaa! Nightmare fuel!



Ya know, I think that's enough for tonight. Time for bed to dream of my Spamkin.

I'll do a post-Halloween wrapup with photos of two parties and the resulting costumes as well as finishing up my Treats and Tricks and hopefully photos of a ton of Kids drawings.

Here's a teaser. Can you identify this man who is about to slay Mickey?


Happiest and Snappiest Halloween to all!

2021-10-30

Go to H E Double Hockey Sticks!

Or...Let's get Jigoku with it! The last of my Magnet movies is 地獄 (Jigoku or The Sinners of Hell) and it is also the coolest/spookiest! (Click that link for a few snippets.) Once again, Nobuo Nakagawa strikes fear into the hearts of men with a Faustian trip to Hades!

Here are a few more posters that I dug up.



Unfortunately, I'm too busy today to watch the movie in its entirety, but there's nothing from preventing you from doing so...


Alas, I ran into a malware problem that took me ages to rectify (or has it?) thus I will have to cut this short. I'm on my way to a party but it shan't run late, so perhaps I can update later this evening.

I'll leave you with this Ukiyoe of Scenes of Heaven and Hell by Kuniyoshi.


Be sure to click on it to view it in all its Hellish glory! Here's a description courtesy of the Museum of Arts, Boston. "Amid red flames, the Ten Kings of Hell, led by ferocious King Enma, pronounce judgment on sinners who are them subjected to various tortures such as boiling in a gigantic cauldron. At the upper left is a glimpse of the palaces of Heaven, and the riverbank where the merciful bodhisattva Jizō ministers to the souls of children who died in infancy."

I'm off to Trick and/or Treat!

2021-10-28

Kuroneko Day!

Hey, it's National Black Cat Day, a made-up but worthy holiday to celebrate the Black Cat from being a superstitious outcast. Whether you like Sailor Moon's Luna, Sabrina's Salem, or the Hocus Pocus feline, and/or are a big fan of the Marvel villainess, Felicia Hardy, Black Cats are the best. 



Cool, Felicia may be getting her own movie...finally. 

Hey there's even a Black Cat Cafe in Himeji that specializes in only Black Cats.

Also today's movie magnet just happens to be called 亡霊怪猫屋敷 (Bourei Kaibyou Yashiki) which means Black Cat Mansion and it's also directed by Nobuo Nakagawa.

Here is the movie in its entirety, though the title is slightly altered.


I like this poster even better.


Here are a few more posters...



Researching this, I discovered an entire genre of Ghost Cat movies called Kaibyou. The only one I've seen on that list is House but I'll try and rectify that and dig them up. Starting with Kuroneko which means Black Cat.


A few of the kiddies' drawings include cats. Here's a sampling.





I was told that I was NOT allowed to carve the school's pumpkin. Instead, I'm certain it'll be thrown away over the weekend. Sigh. So I started to carve my other veggies beginning with a nasu nice one, an eggplant. I had three criteria. It must be able to fit a candle; it must be edible afterwards; it mustn't be so difficult to cut that I slice my hand open.

The eggplant kind of works and can be fried up afterwards.

Candle is too long.


Needs a bit more hollowing out.


That's about as good as it gets.


The gruesome gourmet.


And I'd be remiss if I ignored Kuniyoshi's love for Cats Lots at that link and a triptych that includes a black cat.


Off to bed now, here is Poe's work, The Black Cat, for you to enjoy. I'm going to read it myself right now.

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