Fractured Fairy Tales.

It's official, I've been disarmed! I finally made it to a clinic today (you'd think there'd be at least one open on a weekend), my arm slung in the shabby looking homemade sling that Alex improvised from two towels. My pathetic guise allowed me to jump the queue and my Doc hammered away looking for a twinge of pain. He found one and referred me to a bone doc. After a few Roentgens (no such thing as X-rays here, only レントゲン) a mini fracture was discovered on my ulna.

What have I learned today?
A plaster cast is referred to as a ギブズ (gibusu), derived from gypsum.
Traffic accident investigators take an incredibly long time to come to an inconclusive conclusion.
It's true what they say about that itch that you can't quite reach being incredibly annoying!
And I look cool in a cast!


It's Pandamic!

While the dreaded Swine Flu has been deemed pandemic, you'd swear that the Ailuropoda melanoleuca contagion has infected Japan. Following are several more examples:

Suntory's Oolong Tea has begat the dreaded Pandao!

Though harmless in appearance, some of these strains such as this chrystalline クリスタル風マグネット attach to your fridge with alarming ease.

Another example is this はさむマグネット which appears to be an ordinary magnetic money clip but who knows what insidious uses it may have?

This ペッパーケース is normally used for pepper but I'm sure some contain dangerous spores!

This appears to be naught but a
シリコンおかずカップ or silicon cup used for side dishes, but we all know what silicon ensues, don't we? Yes, Horta!

Rather than let your snacks go stale, one can use this clip to seal the bag. Handily, there is a monthly counter attached to the
スナッククリップ to see when it expires.

Don't be fooled by these yummy-looking items, for they are inedible マグネットクリップ and are advisably used as fridge magnets not for sating your sweet tooth.

Kirin Green Tea has come up with these にぎにぎ生茶パンダ先生, spongy little creatures gnawing on tea leaves! I only see five! That means one has escaped!

My apartment has been infested with smaller versions of the insidious critters. So far I've only captured 4 of them but I hear that there's a dozen of them!

I recommend you acquire one of these 生茶パンダ・メタルアクセサリー to use as a charm to ward off the above! I only have the one, but it's worked so far.

If you search the tube (YouTube that is), there are some documentaries on this disease.

Here we have Ghibli's パンダコパンダ
The Adventures of Panda and Friends, the opening theme with English subtitles:

And an episode:

The above has been a public service announcement hoping to keep the infestation at bay. I hope I've been successful...


Oh Snap!

I'm not sure what I did to piss off Karma, but she struck again with a vengeance! My brand new bike arrived today (unassembled as I feared) but a quick 20 minute walk to my local repairman remedied that. Out of guilt for getting him to put together my majestic steed gratis, I bought a new basket (overcharged I suspect) and another lock, for I didn't trust the one I got with it. Only a little over 15000¥, for the bike, but add up the accessories and tag on another 8-9000¥. Still far cheaper than the cheapest crappy bike in the Department stores.

So I rode my new wheels with pride and wouldn't ya know it, en route to Bridge, I was cut off by a moronic woman who drove straight into the intersection without looking or stopping first, prompting me to brake quickly and consequently fly arse over handlebars, landing on my left elbow. The lady asked if I was ok (大丈夫?) and I responded that I wasn't sure whereupon she sped off without another word before I could get a license or any info! CHARMING!

Stunned, I walked into a nearby conbini did a precursory check of my injuries, bought a drink and sat on the curb in the shade. A phonecall to a friend deemed useless (Curses: our relationship is purely one of exchanging sarcastic quips back & forth, impossible to be serious) but after 5 minutes, two separate Good Samaritans came by to offer advise and provide me with a cold ice-filled towel. I couldn't have been that out of it, for I contemplated asking the Samaritaness for her #! It took me an hour to walk home, soaked in the tub f-or a bit and then lay down and watched cartoons for awhile.

The poorly photographed swelling has gone down considerably and (the aforementioned) Alex and a friend came over with a Happi Setto (yay-Pikachu--I can play with it in the tub later!) and we watched Fargo. Now I sit here blogging with my right hand and moping!

Man, and you thought Earl had it bad!


The Thrill is Gone.

Hey, did anybody see the news today? Apparently Farrah Fawcett died today! She wasn't my favourite Angel (Jacqueline was), but I did like her in Logan's Run...

& her figure was the only thing good about Saturn 3 (Kirk, what were you thinking?)

Alas, her tragic demise was somewhat overshadowed by another famous individual.

I'm glad to see that I outlived him and the last time I spoke of the King of Pop, I wasn't overly complimentary. I'm still not a fan of Michael the person, but his music certainly earned him his title.

I received 2 emails this morning at 8 informing me of his sickness/coma/death and when I turned on the TV, and all I could think of was, "I'd better pick up some CosBabies at HMV before they sell out."

I did so after work today I need not have worried for there were tons of them. This is what I got...

Billie Jean is pretty sweet, as is MJ in his pre-Zombie Thriller outfit. Yet at 980¥ a pop, it's not worth picking up anymore though some of them look pretty cool.

I don't have much else to add except my slight connection to Thriller. I am actually 2 degrees of separation from MJ. Back in 1999, I had a role as one of 500 other extras in Blues Brothers 2000. We were waiting (and waiting and waiting) in the stadium stands when who should I espy but the director, John Landis. I exclaimed, "Hey, there's John Landis!" Much murmuring amongst my surrounding Monster Truck fan/Extras ensued, "Landis, who's John Landis?" When one of the brighter ones proclaimed, "John Landis, he's the director of Thriller!" They collectively nodded their heads in agreement, proud of themselves for recognizing the esteemed video director. None of them seemed to realize that Mr. Landis had done several other movies as well, including a certain Blues Brothers pic!

Back to Jacko. Here he is flogging Pepsi:

Speaking of Pepsi, today I discovered a new flavour of it, SHISO...Japanese Refreshing Flavor. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this is what led to the death of Michael! It was abhorrent! Neither co-worker could stomach more than a sip, and I bravely consumed about half of it, but could no longer continue and ended up pouring it down the sink. It looks yummy enough but smells of Peppermint deodorant and tastes like industrial strength detergent. (Oh no, just when I thought it was safe to go to the supermarket again, they've launched another Snoopy campaign! Aw man, I haven't finished off the swill from the last one!)

ps. Just to round off the Trio of Death, I should mention that Ed MacMahon has joined Jooooohny in the hereafter. He was rarely funny but a greater straight man/sidekick has yet to be made.


A Good Sport.

It's been awhile since the last KitKat update, and today I discovered two different flavours.

A rather bizarre tasting スポーツドリンク (Sports Drink) flavour does taste remotely like アクエリアス = Aquarius or ポカリスエット = Pocari Sweat. This is not a misspelling of sweet...it IS sweat! Every foreigner winces upon discovering this drink. I first equated it with pig perspiration, Peccary-Sweat! But back to the KitKat...what were they thinking? What's next, Gatorade? As you can see, it has something to do with JFA Dream Asia Project which is some kind of Soccer thing, so I'm not interested.

The other one is a rather odd flavour, ramune and if you click that link, another KitKat aficionado waxes eloquently about it. Basically it is this lemonade (ramune...get it?) drink that you can find at any Summer Festival along with かき氷 (kakigori=flavoured shaved ice.) I am not overly familiar with its originating source, but I gave a mini-wafer to each of my co-workers and they collectively agreed upon its remarkable similarity. Dig that crazy colour too!

Over the next two days, I will be handing these out to my students because...I shall no longer be teaching them (oooh, how enigmatic!)


My One Night Stand...

Revealed! Not as seamy as you might suspect, but rather a fun night with several ladies (and a few guys...) As this poster reveals, the evening entailed several musical performances (not sexual ones, alas) all hosted by our Lady of the Evening, Akari.

It started off with a very nervous Ponytail soloing on vocals & guitar. Pretty good, but he really needs more practice. He should stick to his group for the time being. Nice version of Elvis's Can't Help Falling In Love though!

Next up was my favourite Ponytail, Yukie (sans drums) singing up a storm of funk along with two backup guitars. She performed a few numbers on a Kazoo/Trumpet thingie and played a Japanese version of Alexander's Ragtime Band on an "accordian-keyboard thingie that you blow into" (not the technical term for it, I suspect) which was just awesome. I recorded all her tunes and would love to share them with you, but YouTube is being tempermental and won't let me download them. Take my word for it, she's terrific!

Next up was a soloing Chicken Master riffing on his bass. His guitar playing is great, but his voice is not conducive to such a small environs, he's better in a bigger hall with some backup.

This Anieky a Gogo guy from Black Soul Invaders guy joked and sang and keyboarded. I liked him a lot and look forward to seeing him again.

Last but least, was patchalone from Violets and though Akari et al rave about him, he's not my cup of tea.

Here are a few shots of the audience, there were over 30 people there which is a pretty good sized crowd for Liga.

Everyone received this free compilation cd. Pretty nice stuff. Up next is the Beach Party at Enn. I haven't missed it yet, so I doubt if this year will be an exception. Stay tuned.

ps. If I finally figure out how to download the tunes, I'll letcha know.


Hello Rookies!

I'm a little tired cuz I just got back from a One Night Stand (details tomorrow) so I'll just do I quick post that I've been saving for awhile (while accumulating all the characters.) There is a Baseball movie that came out last month called, Rookies that has just been hit out of the park in Japan!

The players' features have been featured in tons of TV ads, promos for Toyota, Coolish (a kind of frozen sports drink you can buy at the cinema), etc. and that's not including their very own Special Goods.

But the one curious tie-in that I went to bat for was putting Hello Kitty figures in the uniforms of the all-male team! It's kind of difficult to discern them individually from this picture, so I've gone to the trouble of individualizing them. Click here to discover who is whom, cuz to me I can't really see much of a difference!

Pretty damn cute, eh!?! I'm still not sure what possessed the advertising bigwigs to equate this guys movie with the kawaii Kitty! (Anybody interested in the complete set? Give me a shout...)

The trailer with a song by Greeeeeeeeeeeen!


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