You Bet Jurassic!

I wore my Dino-tie today and that inspired me to watch the Jurassic Trilogy tonight. 

I just finished #1 and ジュラシック・パーク still holds up after 18 years and multiple viewings. The dinosaurs are awesome, the kids not nearly as annoying as I'd remembered, chain-smoking Samuel Jackson has had enough of these Mother-F***ing dinos in this Mother F***ing park, Newman was weaselly, Goldblum, Dern & Neill made great heroes, Attenborough was jolly, albeit misguided (Okay his final line was grammatically incorrect: "So do I" should have been "Neither do I" in response to a negative statement, but let's not quibble.) All in all, a great movie. Here are a couple of the promo pics that came with the DVD.

My favourite scene:

I'm going to watch Lost World before bed and #3 in the morning. I'll spare no expense in giving you an update later.

Ophidioepiaviophobia.

This is a term I just coined to mean: The fear of Snakes on a Plane.
スネークフライト or Snake Flight, as it is known over here (another kick-ass title, I must say) was released to minimal box office glory a few weeks ago. Seeing as today is the second-last day, and as it is メンズデー (Men's Day or only 1000￥for guys), I had to check it out. The half a dozen other guys who also saw it, weren't as amused as I was and I politely had to stifle my guffaws upon several occasions. Needless to say, I went into it expecting a stupid but fun movie and I certainly was not disappointed. It was a stupid but fun movie!

Although everyone who has ever logged onto the internet is aware of the line, "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane!", I'm sure they had to wait until they actually viewed the movie (or on-line) in order to hear it expressed by Samuel L. Jackson. Not so over here in Japan...I have heard that line bellowed out on commercial television in the middle of the day. No prudish censorship in Japan!

Without further ado...that line:



Alas this is what the Japanese translation of the above cool line renders:


俺様はヘビも飛行機も大嫌いだ！Oresama wa hebi mo hikoki mo daikirai da!
Which translates to, "I really hate snakes and planes!" Not quite as dramatic, is it?

Hebi Metal.

You've all heard about "Snakes on a Plane" and how Samuel L. Jackson chose to take the role based on the title alone. You may also have heard that Japan changes titles of Hollywood movies in order to make them more palatable to Japanese audiences. So do you think he would have chosen to make this film if it went by the Japanese title? "SNAKE FLIGHT!" I suspect he would have!
(Oh yeah, hebi = ヘビ = snake.)

Snakes on a Plane! Use it often...

The new movie won't make it to Japan for ages, but in the meantime, we can work it into our vocabulary. "Sex on a Plane" or "SOAP" is an incredible word that can be used to describe many situations:

1) Surprise -- "What the snakes on a plane are you doing here?"
2) Fraud -- "I got snaked on a plane by the car dealer."
3) Resignation -- "Oh, snakes on a plane!"
4) Trouble -- "I guess I'm snakes on a plane now."
5) Aggression -- "GO SNAKE YOURSELF ON A PLANE!"
6) Disgust -- "Snake me on a motherf*cking plane."
7) Confusion -- "What the...snakes on a plane...?"
8) Difficulty -- "I don't understand these snakes on a plane!"
9) Despair -- "Snakes on a plane again...."
10) Pleasure -- "I couldn't be happier if I had snakes on a plane."
11) Displeasure -- "What the motherf*ck is going on here, snakes on a plane?"
12) Lost -- "Where are we going and why are there snakes on a plane?"
13) Disbelief -- "UN-SNAKES-ON-A-PLANE-BELIEVABLE!"
14) Retaliation -- "Up your f*cking snakes on a plane!"
15) Denial -- "I didn't do it. The snakes did. On a plane."
16) Perplexity -- "I know everything to do with it, if it has anything to do with Snakes On A Plane."
17) Apathy -- "Who really gives a snake on a plane, anyhow?"
18) Greetings -- "How the snakes on a plane are ya?"
19) Suspicion -- "Who the f*ck are you, snakes on a plane?"
20) Panic -- "Let's get the snakes on a plane out of here."
21) Directions -- "F*ck off, snakes on a plane."
22) Awe -- "How the snakes on a plane did you do that?"
23) Anatomical description -- "He's got a motherf*cking snake up his motherf*cking plane."

The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the phrase! Use it in your daily speech and teach it to your students! It'll add to your & their prestige. (Adapted by me but stolen from some guy named Dan Kaminsky.)

Samuel Jackson IS Afro Samurai!

The five episode series is the tale of a black samurai in futuristic, yet feudal Japan who is on a mission to avenge the wrongful death of his father. "Afro" is a warrior who travels a solitary path encountering a myriad of enemies, friends and challenges beyond imagination.

The series, produced in Japanese animation, blends samurai style with hip-hop, creating a kind of action that American audiences have never seen before.

Afro Samurai is a creative collaboration between Jackson, Takashi Okazaki and Japanese animation company Gonzo.

It's supposed to show up in NA on Spike TV. Has anyone seen anything about it yet? I'll keep my eye out for it.