San Baka Tai-Shou.

三バカ大将 is pronounced as per above and refers to the Three Stupid Generals (not sure how that equals stooges, but I may have my kanji wrong.) Back in March, a rumour started circulating about a Three Stooges movie with Sean Penn to play Larry, Benicio del Toro, to play Moe and Jim Carrey to play Curly. Anyone know if it's been resurrected as reality? (Frankly I'd rather see someone else as Curly (Jon Favreau?) and have Jim play Shemp, but that's just me.)

Here our 3 baka guys end up in Japanese guise. Enjoy:

It's Bolisu Kaarofu!

(I missed a day in the Borisathon, so it's time to play catch-up. Here's a link to Day 2 and Day 3 in which I hope this entry qualifies.)

Using the common stereotype of Asian's mixing up their syllables, here we have ボリス・カーロフ (or Bolisu Kaarofu) as the eponymous and very Asian Mr. Wong. I've spoken at length in the past of Hollywood actors portraying famous and infamous Japanese characters, for example Marlon Brando, whose head you can see below the pic of Mr. Wong. (Or just click on Japolliwood in the Labels list below!) and though Bolisu has never played a Japanese citizen to my knowledge, he has a history of a more sinoster nature. Taking a cue from Charlie Chan, Mr. Moto, et al., his most famous role was as Mr. James Wong in a series of detective stories. I've scanned a bit from a copy of Bizarre Magazine for you to read. (Click on the pic to Shanghai-size it!)

Get that? I couldn't find a Japanese link for you to practice your Nihongo but our friends at IMBD inform us of the Mr. Wong series










Doomed to Die (1940) Played by Boris Karloff
... aka The Mystery of Wentworth Castle
The Fatal Hour (1940) Played by Boris Karloff
... aka Mr. Wong at Headquarters (UK)
Mr. Wong in Chinatown (1939) Played by Boris Karloff (as Mr. James Lee Wong)
The Mystery of Mr. Wong (1939) Played by Boris Karloff
Mr. Wong, Detective (1938) Played by Boris Karloff (as Mr. James Lee Wong)

For your viewing pleasure, you can start here with Mr. Wong in Chinatown:



He enjoyed portraying the Chinese and continued doing so as the evil warlord General Wu Yen Fang in West of Shanghai (but I have very little detail on this one...can any fellow Boris-bloggers help me out?)









Another Chinese character he portrayed was the villainous Fu Manchu and in a surprise move, he meets Godzilla:



Oops, that wasn't right at all. Here is Karloff in 1932 as Fu Manchu in 成吉斯汗の仮面 (Fu Manchu no Kamen) or Mask of Fu Manchu:



Stay tuned for further adventures of Kaarofu-san!

So Very Very Wrong...

But so very very cute. Who cannot love the concept of a fusion between Kewpie dolls and anything? Runatown has even coined a phrase for it: キュージョン (Kewsion). If you click there, you'll see that Kewpie has merged with every character imaginable, but mind-melding with Spock is pure genius!








I finally got to see the movie on its Japanese opener last Friday. I won't elaborate for those of you who hasn't seen it yet (ie. Alex, with whom I was supposed to view it until he contracted a Sehlat flu) though I did get to see it with a former student from my Soma days who runs a successful Eye Clinic in Shiogama. Thanks for treating me to a ticket and a movie pamphlet, Takefumi!

I will offer my comments upon the casting for the movie though, so here we go...(I'm not going to take the time to link to everyone, surely you can Google them yourself.)



First up, we have "I am James Tiberius Kirk" himself, Chris Pine. He did a great job as a mesh between James Dean and James Kirk, a bit too angsty for me at times, but he does have an keen eye for the ladies...
Quinto as Spocko. My favourite Hero/Villain did an admirable job as Spock Jnr. Not as good at controlling his emotions as his elder self, but that's part of his charm.
Nimoy as Spock. Inspired casting of Nimoy as Spock. I'm glad he has continued to Live Long and Prosper, thus ensuring a new breed of Trekaddicts.



Bruce Banner/Bana as Nero. A Romulan named Nero...nice writing! (Better than Remus, I suppose!)
Bruce Greenwood as Christopher Pike. A good Canadian boy (hey, TOS had a couple of Canucks), I really enjoyed the Easter Egg when he appeared at the end of the movie.
Karl Urban nailed Bones. IMHO, the best casting in the entire movie!






Zoë Saldaña as Nyota Uhura. Very sexy, but she's no Nichelle Nichols.
Simon Pegg as Scotty. Awesome casting choice. I loved him in Spaced, Hot Fuzz and the RomZomCom, Shaun of the Dead. I love him even more here. One complaint...not enough of him!
John Cho as Hikaru Sulu did an adequate job, but aren't there any Japanese actors out there who are capable of playing Japanese? (Click on the label below, Japolliwood, for more cases.) Great fencing!





Anton Velchin as Pavel Andreievich Chekov. What getting a Russian to play a Russian!?! I found his acting superb, but his accent seemed too strong (paging Irony.)
Ben Cross as Sarek. Mark Lenard was brilliant as Spock's papa, but his shoes were amply filled by Mr. Cross.
I love it. Rather than show a photo of Winona Ryder as Spock's mom, Amanda Grayson, they just show a shot of Vulcan. Maybe she swiped the pic!





I started off this post with some of the ST goods offered at the cinema. Here are a few more.

Iwo Jima: From Both Sides.

A few weeks ago, Flags of Our Fathers was released over here and it ends next week. On Saturday, a follow-up picture, Letters from Iwo Jima premieres here. Clint Eastwood has done an admirable job of telling the story of the flag raising from both sides of the picture. I've got to go see Flags and Letters before they disappear from our shores. (In an unrelated aside, I'm watching Kelly's Heroes starring Clint as a gung-ho commander who robs a bank of 1.6 million in gold bullion behind enemy lines. Unofficially remade as We Three Kings in my opinion.)

But good old Clint is in the minority of directors who portray the Japanese in a positive light. He approached Councilor Shindo Yoshitaka in 2005 with the intention of telling the story of the flag-raisers. Mr. Yoshitaka (who has a personal stake in the project: his grandfather General Kuribayashi Tadamichi, was handpicked by Emperor Hirohito to lead the defense of Iwo Jima) had grave concerns about the Republican Dirty Harry making this picture. Will it be another rehash of Sands of Iwo Jima starring another Hollywood tough guy, John Wayne (who never served a minute in the military) or something different for a change?

Reviews have been positive, so I'm looking forward to making a judgement for myself. Stay tuned...

But forget all that for now. Let's sit back and reminisce about simpler times. When the Japanese were portrayed as buck-toothed, begoggled savages and the Americans as the heroes come to save the day...Yup, it's time for some more Propaganda Posters from WWII. (I mean, tomorrow is Dec 7th and we all know how that ended up for the Yanks don't we?)

Faster than a streak of lightning...

I've got a lot on my plate right now, and though I have lots of useless stuff to blog about, I'd rather not at present.

So instead, here's another classic Superman where he fights the Japanese. I recall seeing this years ago, but I don't ever remember the opening as being different from the vintage "Faster than a speeding bullet."

Enjoy the "11th Hour"...

Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi

This is my final foreigner as Japanese posting for a while. It was the incentive for running these in the first place, for it is the MOST RACIST portrayal of a Japanese I have ever seen committed to celluloid. I've never sat all the way through "Breakfast at Tiffany's" but it was on the other day and I caught a few minutes of it. When I saw Mickey Rooney with the bucked-teeth and coke-bottle eyeglasses, it inspired me to write about the portrayal.

Apparently on the DVD, the producer (not the director, Blake Edwards) apologizes for the portrayal yet I'm sure Mickey is quite proud of his work.

I don't have any video clips of Mickey as Yunioshi, but I do have something even more racist for you (I'm definitely NOT condoning this clip!)



On a positive note about Mickey, I saw him perform in "Crazy For You" about 15 years ago, and he was quite spry for a 70-year old.

If anyone has any more gaijin as nihonjin portrayals they can recommend, I'm all ears.

Spiderman meets the Saturday Night Live Players.

To showcase how popular SNL players were in the late 70's, they teamed up with Spider-Man in issue 74 of his team-up comic. I had the issue and, though very silly, it was taken very seriously within the Marvel Universe. John Belushi in his Samurai role had received an ancient ring and the villainous "Silver Samurai" shows up wanting the ring. I hope I still have a copy, I'd like to re-read it for authenticity!

ジョンベルシは侍のパン人です。

Here is a script of John as Samurai Baker with Buck Henry again as the customer.

Samurai Bakery

Mr. Dantley.....Buck Henry
Samurai.....John Belushi

[ open on Mr. Dantley entering bakery, baker at counter with back turned ]

Mr. Dantley: Afternoon! Could someone help me?

[ Baker turns around behind counter, revealing himself as the Samurai, complete with puffy baker's hat atop his head ]

[ dissolve up title card ]

Announcer: It's time for another episode of.. "Samurai Bakery"!

Mr. Dantley: Boy, am I glad you're still open! You know, my brother is getting married tomorrow; I'm the best man, and like a dope, I forgot to order the wedding cake.

[ Samurai extends his sword angrily, pointing at the "Take A Number" ticket dispenser ]

Mr. Dantley: Oh, okay. [ tears a number ticket and waits ]

[ Samurai clicks machine to reveal Number 97, and repeatedly calls out the number in Japanese gibberish; when no one responds, Samurai clicks to Number 98 and calls out ]

Mr. Dantley: Yeah! Now.. I need a wedding cake.. [ notices a beautiful graduation cake on the counter ] Oh, ooh-ooh - that cake would be perfect! Listen, can you just.. take the, take the graduate off the top, and.. and.. and put on a little bride and groom?

[ Samurai points to his watch as he speaks in Japanese gibberish ]

Mr. Dantley: Ah. What time were they supposed to pick it up?

[ Samurai points to the 6 on his watch to indicate six o'clock ]

Mr. Dantley: Ooh.. ooh, what a nice watch! That's great looking! Swiss! I have a Seiko, myself. It's one of those Japanese-

[ Samurai spits in disgust and pulls his eyes back into a squint; he makes a Swiss cuckoo sound and points to the superiority of his own watch ]

Mr. Dantley: Yeah. Well, I know what you mean. [ points to his watch ] Look, look - it's after six o'clock now. Why can't I have that cake? It's real important, honestly.. No, huh? [ pulls a large bill out of his wallet ] Well, uh.. I guess you wouldn't be interested in, uh.. say a.. bribe of some kind, huh?

[ Samurai angrily expels his sword, slicing the graduate peg from the cake, and carefully replaces it with a bride and groom peg; Samurai then wipes the excess icing off his sword with a cloth ]

Mr. Dantley: That's good! It's going to make a young couple very, very happy! [ helps Samurai slide the cake across the counter, onto another flat surface ] I can't believe that my brother is getting hitched after all these years. You know.. I introduced my brother to his fiancée.

[ curious, points from Mr. Dantley to the bride peg on the cake ]

Mr. Dantley: Mmm-hmm..

[ Samurai squeezes glaze from the tip of his sword, decorating the top of the cake ]

Mr. Dantley: Oh.. oh, that's real nice! [ continuing his story ] As a matter of fact, I not only introduced him to his fiancée.. I used to go out with her myself.

[ intrigued, the Samurai motions his sword up and down in his case to congratulate Mr. Dantley on his former relationship with his brother's fiancée ]

Mr. Dantley: [ laughing ] Well, that could be our little secret! By the way, what kind of cake is that under all that whipped cream? Is that chocolate?

Samurai: [ shakes head ] Mmm-mmm.

Mr. Dantley: Devil's food?

Samurai: [ shakes head ] Mmm-hmm.

Mr. Dantley: What?

[ Samurai motions his hands in a foppish manner ]

Mr. Dantley: Oh, fruit cake! My favorite! Boy, it's really a beauty. You.. you are a master baker!

Samurai: Hmm?? [ looks up, insulted at what he thought he heard, then relaxes ]

Mr. Dantley: How much do I owe you?

[ Samurai determines the price on his sword, giving the total to Mr. Dantley ]

Mr. Dantley: Terrific. [ pays up ] Now, listen, here's the problem. How am I gonna carry that cake home? Because I have to walk six blocks to get to my house.

[ not a problem for the Samurai, who who grabs the cake in one hand, and flat, unopened boxes wrapped with string in his other hand, then tosses them both into the air, extracting his sword from his holder and swinging at the cake and boxes as they crash to the floor; Samurai then reaches behind the counter and pulls up the cake, now individually boxed by layer and ties with string ]

Mr. Dantley: Ah! Thank you!

[ dissolve up title card ]

Announcer: Tune in next week, for another episode of.. "Samurai Bakery"!

[ fade ]

#5 Ricardo Montalban as Nakamura

In another Brando movie, Sayonara (1957), Red Buttons (who died only last week) was a fighter pilot stationed in Kobe who married a local Japanese woman. When ordered back to America without being able to take his wife, they committed suicide together.

Ricardo Montalban (a Mexican) portrayed a Kabuki actor. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of him (but it was likely more realistic than Marlon), but it must have been a Fantasy role for him.

Here he is in Star Trek as KHAN.

I Coulda Been a 競争者!

And the next odd Hollywood star as a Japanese person is Marlon Brando as Mr. Sakini the interpreter in "The Teahouse of the August Moon".
Is it just me or did they not even try to make him look Japanese?

Zhang Ziyi as Sayuri

#3 has Asians playing Asians. "Memoirs of a Geisha" (called "Sayuri" here in Japan) is a movie that is about Japanese, starring Chinese and written by Whites, almost the entire "Japanese" cast is non-Japanese. (In reality, Youki Kudoh, Suzuka Ohgo, and Watanabe are Japanese, while Zhang and Gong Li are Chinese and Michelle Yeoh is Malaysian of Chinese descent.)

This casting pissed off a lot of people, but not me. Japanese have been portraying other Asians for years now (Pat Morita & Mako - Koreans on MASH, Jack Soo - Chinese in Flower Drum Song, etcetera) all play the token Asian, depending on the role needed.) To paraphrase Sandra Oh (Korean-Canadian), "White actors are portraying those of European descent all the time and the only criticism is of their accents, not their ethnicity. So why not Asians playing Asians?)

Of course the Japanese and Chinese are annoyed with the actors portraying Japanese but that's a whole different issue!

Zhang as Sayuri and Michelle Yeoh as Mameha...








And here is Bobby Lee of MAD TV fame portraying Sayuri. (He's Korean, by the way.)



To check out the Japanese website for the movie, go here.

Peter Lorre as Mr. Moto!

As #2 of my non-Japanese Japanese, here we have Mr. Moto. Who, you may ask, is Mr. Moto? Mr. Moto was a mild-mannered, Japanese detective that was the basis for a series of eight films (1937-39) by Twentieth Century-Fox from the stories of novelist John P. Marquand. Peter Lorre (of Austrian descent) portrays Kentaro Moto, who was very much unlike Charlie Chan in that he was the master of disguises and physically more active, often using ju-jistsu. These serial-movies are as follows:
• Think Fast, Mr. Moto (1937)
• Thank You, Mr. Moto (1937)
• Mr. Moto's Gamble (1937)
• Mr. Moto Takes a Chance (1938)
• Mysterious Mr. Moto (1938)
• Mr. Moto's Last Warning (1939)
• Danger Island (1939)
• Mr. Moto Takes a Vacation (1939)
After 1939, Hollywood took a dim view of portraying Japanese people as heroes and the movies went by the wayside.

Quiz Kings クイズキングズ

This is the first in a series of postings I'll make of "Japanese portrayals by non-Japanese." Mike Myers, back in his SNL days portrayed a Japanese Game Show Host with Chris Farley as an unwitting American participant. This also features Alec Baldwin and Janeane Garafolo as Japanese co-participants.

Enjoy it, I did. (And Mike's Japanese pronunciation isn't too bad either...better than mine!)