Avengers Disassemble!

A pal 'o mine recently made a tour of Malaysia and Thailand and brought me back one of the best presents ever, a bootleg set of Avengers!

Tell me if anything seems out of place.

Yeah, that's right. Since when is Spider-Man a member of the Avengers? (Movie, that is.) What, they couldn't get Ironman even though he shows up on the blurb on the front!

And on the side!!
And on the back of the box, along with a big headed version of Black Widow and Hawkeye AND a clumsily photoshopped Wolverine!!!
And whoa, just look at the size of Nick Fury's upper torso which is as big as the Hulk.
I also love the blurb on the back of the box explaining who our heroes are.

Captain America in frozen a few years later, wake up. The world is not what he used to familiar appearance, various types of evil opponent to emerge in an endless stream, the whole society turbulent, only rely on the strength of a person is unable to save the world. So the United States of America Captain, Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk and other super heroes together, composition of the history of the most powerful" Avengers" Team, the common good and evil, fighting for peace.

That is some pretty awesome Chinglish or Thailish right there.

Since the box tells me to do so, let's check out our newest member, Spidey.

 Wow, that is some messed up chin you've got going on there. It looks as though they painted a spider mask over a venom figure. Nice six-pack though.
Oh and just as the real Spider-man's does, his chest lights up!

It looks like Captain America suffers from the same ailment as Peter Parker, gigantism of the chin with no neck. Either it was sculpted by Rob Liefeld or his alter ego is Rondo Hatton*.

It looks like too many kids tried Cap's chest for his light barely functioned at all.

*To learn more about Rondo Hatton, click the above link or watch the video below.
(Btw, he suffered from acromegaly, an ailment that my Godfather suffered from. His pituitary gland activated when he was around 50 and he started to grow again. His spine extended and he died a rather painful death.)

Thor has a fairly normal chin for an Asgardian, albeit a bit muddy hairy.

 Nope, his chest doesn't light up very well either. Low on batteries, I guess.
At least he still can lift Mjolnir.

Let's take a look at Hulk. Not a bad sculpture, muscular, not too mis-proportioned. Probably the best of the bunch.

Yay, his chest lights up too!

There's a great cautionary advisory on the back as well, for everyone knows that "Made in China" means you'll get the safest materials ever.

* Chocking Hazard-Not suitable for children under 3 if there is any presence small parts.
* Remove or dispose of all packaging (including polybags) safely before giving to children.
* Be careful of the potential entag ment (sic) hazard with neck, hair of fingers if there are string , wire, wheels or rolling parts in the product.
* Do not shoot towards human body if the product consists of shooting function.
* Do not give the toy to children under target age. Let children play under parental supervision.
* Please retain the above information for future reference.

I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Oh yeah, what the f*ck is Batman doing here???

 It looks like he escaped from Dark Knight Rises with the full cowl (and scowl) while retaining the colour scheme from TAS combined with the Pirate from the Elseworlds Leatherwing figure. Just a wacky looking costume all around.
 What's with the white lines on his chest and thighs?
 Those eyes are more piercing than his light is!!

I definitely want to go to Thailand now if they have more crap like this on the shelves!!

ADDENDUM: I forgot to mention, he also brought me a set of Marvel Stickers. The byline for it reads:
We have hopes because we have love. Made in china

Not a bad set of stickers at all. Some nice designs and I do like Sue Storm's hairstyle.

The only odd one of the bunch is in the lower corner. Worst pose by Mr. Fantastic ever!

Speaking of Batman, here is a picture of him along with Robin, Green Hornet, and Kato. Signed by Adam West, no less!


Fried Toast said...

I didn't see any other figures while I was there. If you're into LEGO, there are some knock-offs to be had (check Ed's Batman). I also brought a few back for myself. They are almost equally as screwy as this Avengers set. Not sure they're worth going to Thailand for, tho'. You can order 'em online. :D

Michael Jones said...

I'm not interested enough in knock-offs to actually order any online. If I see something I like, I buy it if it's cheap enough.
I've always wanted to go to Thai anyway, this is just another excuse to go.


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