'Twas The Night Before Creepmas.

And aw Holy F*ck, not creature was stirring except this toy Duck.

There's Shakespearean Jack and a Santa one too,

And Ghost Teddy eerily flying down the flue.

Jack with a present and Sally with that Duck, and look it's Oogie Boogie, that nasty old F*ck!**

Jack as a baby, a toddler, a pirate; and that pudgy beanbag Jack just doesn't seem right.

Elongated Jack what has he wrought, oh no he's tied himself in a knot!

Lock, Shock and Barrel riding in a tub with Jack as a Snowman, Rub-a-dub-dub.

Apart from Jack on a snowboard with Sally in tow, and a Shock with his axe all ready for show,

I've run out of toys, so off to bed I shall go. Happy Creepmas to all, and HO, HO, HO, HO!

**(So I repeated a joke, sue me.)

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