Monkey Majik Live!

I just got back from the Monkey Majik concert and it was...

non-existant. Unfortunately my friend got his dates mixed up and after quaffing a few brews beforehand we realized that the concert is in fact next week not tonight. ha ha! Thus that review will have to wait.

For a change (see what I did there?), let's get on with the much anticipated Oscar predictions. (Click that for the nominees) As always, I will put my desired win in bold and what I think will win in italics or both if they overlap.

Best Actor: No idea! Haven't seen any of them nor am I likely to do so! (hither to be known as NI!HSAOTNAILTDS.) The only one shown in Japan is "Invictus" and I loathe soccer. So let's say Jeff Bridges for my choice (cuz I luv him) and Morgan Freeman for the Academy choice (cuz they luv him.)

Best Supporting Actor: I saw "Inglorious Basterds" and Christopher Waltz was the best thing in it! I think the Academy will agree with me, though I think Woody Harrelson should win for "Zombieland". (The other four movies...NO idea!)

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role: (Notice I didn't say, Best Actress, cuz I don't think it applies here.) No idea, no desire to see any of those movies and if they give it to Sandra Bullock, I'm going to barf. I'd choose Meryl Streep cuz she has slept with every member of the academy for the last 20 years, but I'll throw my hat in the ring and choose the chubby black chick, Gabourey Sidibe. NI!HSAOTNAILTDS

Best Supporting Actress: The Precious gals split the vote, so I'll say Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Crazy Heart" and allow the Academy to choose Anna Kendrick in "Up in the Air". Once again...NI!HSAOTNAILTDS.

Best Animated Feature: I'd love to see "Coraline" or "Fantastic Mr. Fox" but since it's the only one I've seen and DUH, it's PIXAR, thus the Academy will choose Up. (Frick'n Japan has chosen to show ALL animated movies in Japanese only, so I'll have to wait until Coraline comes out on DVD. Great book, probably great movie.) Angry aside: where the hell is "Ponyo"?

Achievement in Art Direction: "Avatar" because it should only win in Technical Categories, it's a piece of shite as cinema, but visually amazing. Besides, it's the only one I've seen. Wanted to see "Parnassus" & may see "Sherlock Holmes" next week, I'm going to go out on a limb and give it to Sherlock Holmes, sight unseen!

Cinematography: See above, "Avatar". I did see "Basterds", but not as purty.

Achievement in Costume Design: (NI!HSAOTNAILTDS alert!) The Academy will choose "Coco before Chanel" , I shall choose "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus" because I'd like to see Terry Gilliam win something!

Best Directing: Quentin Tarantino for "Inglorious Basterds" would be my choice just to shake things up, though I suspect the Suits will vote for "Up in the Air"'s Jason Reitman (besides, he's Canadian!)

Best Documentary Feature: I'd like "The Cove" to win due to its subject matter and so I can use the following line, "They chose this on Porpoise!" (ps. NI!HSAOTNAILTDS.)

Best Documentary Short Subject: Very much a NI!HSAOTNAILTDS situation. So this is a complete crap shoot. "The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant" by them; "China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province" by me (for absolutely no reason...that's why it's a crap shoot.)

Achievement in Film Editing: I saw "District 9" and would love it to win something, so this is as good a category as any. Let's say they choose "Inglourious Basterds".

Best Foreign Language Film: NI!HSAOTNAILTDS thus shooting the crap again, let's double up our bet on Peru's "The Milk of Sorrow"

Best Makeup: It's the only Category that "Star Trek" is in that "Avatar" isn't, so I hope it gets something that the Smurfs don't steal. Ergo, my choice is "Star Trek". The Academy will probably go for something lame such as "The Young Victoria" (whatever the hell that is!)

Best Original Score: Let's give my vote to "Up" and theirs to "The Hurt Locker" cuz it'll be snubbed in every other category.

Best Original Song: Thank God "Avatar" wasn't nominated because that was the absolute worst song I've ever heard and I don't ever want to hear it again! That being said, since NI!HSAOTNAILTDS, let's go with Randy Newman and "Down in New Orleans" from "The Princess and the Frog" and give them "Take It All" from "Nine".

Best Animated Short Film: Though NI!HSAOTNAILTDS, "A Matter of Loaf and Death" must win...it's frick'n Aardman for goodness sake!

Best Live Action Short Film: Really a NI!HSAOTNAILTDS so I'll choose "Instead of Abracadabra" cuz it sounds cool and give them "The Door".

Achievement in Sound Editing: this is another {I want "Star Trek" but it's up against "Avatar" and thus has no chance} situation.

Achievement in Sound Mixing: see above. "Star Trek" vs. "Avatar".

Achievement in Visual Effects: Okay, though "Star Trek" was visually amazing, "Avatar" was visually astounding thus edges out my vote as well.

Adapted Screenplay: Though I really enjoyed "District 9", I'm gonna vote for "Up in the Air" but the Academy will go for "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (what a mouthful.)

Original Screenplay: "Inglourious Basterds" written by Quentin Tarantino was great and thus I'll let the Academy choose it, but "Up" brought tears to my eyes and thus gets my nod.

I have actually seen 4 out of the 10 choices for Best Motion Picture so I shall eliminate the other 6 and just comment on them.

"Avatar"...terrific eye candy but the plot & dialogue was atrocious. Best Pic-I say thee Nay!
"Up"...fat chance that a true Animated flick will ever win best Picture. "That's why we added a best Animated Feature Category!" I'd love to see it win, but not in my lifetime.
"District 9"...amazing movie, way out of left field. No way it would have been nominated with only 5 choices, so it's a pitch-black dark horse.
"Inglorious Basterds"...lots of fun, several gory giggles with a star dance by Waltz and a cool psycho by Brad Pitt (now why wasn't he nominated?). Alas, I still don't think it's the best of the year.
Thus out of the 10 Nominated pictures, I choose..."Star Trek"! What!! It's not one of the 10, awww spit! Okay, let's choose one I didn't see but to Coen a phrase, "A Serious Man". The Academy bigwigs will go for...I dunno...(throws a dart)..."Up in the Air".


Anonymous said...

hrrmmm... a wee bit off this year old buddy.
I see that the Hurt Locker just won and can't disagree with it as its a very good film, but why do the yanks always run around invading countries, blowing them to crap and then making these hand-wringing guilt-releasing war flicks that end up as oscar fodder?

Nice to see Star Trek won 1.

...and although Halle Berry has come in person to collect both her Razzie and Oscar, I don't think an actor has ever done it in consecutive nights! So cheers to Bullock for that!

1 more thing- Where's Dr. Manhattan's gold man for best C.G.I. Blue Wang? He had no competition from the Avatards as his could grow exponentially larger and they just screwed pteradactyls.


Michael Jones said...

Way off base indeed!


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