Who loves ya baby?
Obviously this guy hasn't learned to embrace his inner bald man. One of my spies in Tokyo found this pic for me and the poor guy either needs to get a stronger toupee adhesive or to stop getting so hammered on cheap Japanese whiskey.
Here is a man who knows what it is to be bald and beautiful. (Alas, I am cursed with a full head of hair, albeit a graying head.)