2007-04-11

"What are you looking at, you hockey puck?"

As voiced by Don Rickles as "Mr. Potato Head". Mr. Rickles tickles my ribs and I always liked him on Carson. Without digging, I can't come up with the origin of the "Hockey Puck" schtick as his insult of choice, but I can speculate that it has something to do with a rhyming word that ends in "uck".

Now this guy has come up with much funnier material than what's on this Top 10 list, but it's a dig at David Letterman, so it's always worthy:
10. Do yourself a favor, Letterman -- make an appointment with a brain surgeon
9. Who picks your clothes -- Stevie Wonder?
8. Why are you always speeding, Letterman? It's not like you've got people holding their breath til you get there
7. Personally, I liked you better when you were on the cover of Mad" magazine"
6. Don't look now, but something died on your head
5. This is the part of the show where I always say to myself, 'I wonder what Koppel's doing tonight'
4. Ball State -- now there's a real hotbed of rocket scientists
3. If Drew Barrymore hadn't flashed you, you wouldn't have had any sex life at all
2. Hey, Dave, I'm having an Oscar party this year. I hope you won't be working that night
1. Letterman, let's face it -- you put the 'suck' in success

I like the last one the best.

The only reason I'm bringing up the jape-meister in the first place is that I wish had his talent for ridicule so I could lambaste the geniuses at the CBC and NHL commissioner, Gary Bettman (more like Gary Buttman, heh heh...oh the magic of Rickles trickles). Apparently the Mensa-reject legal team at the CBC who negotiated to pay the NHL 65 million$ per year for game rights (especially the traditional Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday Night. But somehow Mr. Buttman has bowed to the will of NBC who plan to show the Senators/ Penguins game on Saturday afternoon. They hope to showcase glory-boy Sidney Crosby (a Canajun!) in order to win tons of Americans over to watching the game. Oh yeah, NBC outbid us with the exorbitant amount of ZERO dollars and a profit sharing deal. What's more, the CBC recently signed a contract extension with the NHL in which it will pay $600-million over six years, starting in 2008-09. You'd think they might have thrown in a clause about giving a few Canadian teams a marquee spot during the playoffs.

Maybe one day the NHL will realise that most Americans may not be that into the sport and some Canadians are.

On the plus side: in the Women's World Hockey Championship, the Canadian women took the gold medal with a 5-1 win over the U.S.



I wonder if the CBC will show that game?

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