Bye Bye Artsie

Fans of the Ann-Margret/ Dick Van Dyke movie are best to look elsewhere. This was our version of Bye Bye Birdie and I must say that moments followed the original closely, and other moments...not so much.

This was our first smash hit. It sold out every performance and yours truly played no less than three memorable characters.

Blair directed, Beth (last year's Rosie) co-wrote it and the cast and band were brilliant.

Universities in the early 80's were undergoing all sorts of budget cuts and with PC Ontario Premiere Bill Davis in power with Education Minister Bette Stephenson, they were just ripe for parody.
So, since "Brampton Billy" was running for re-election and my dad was a fervent supporter, I managed to acquire several stickers and posters which, with a modicum of alteration, became "Bill Savus". Nancy McDevitt became "Ladybird Stevenson",so add two drunken assistants and our scene equals a slapstick extravaganza.

In addition to Bill Savus, I played a horny Engineer and Harvey Johnston, who sang "Telephone Hour" with a high squeaky voice. I sat upon a high closet and gossipped with other cast members about Condor Artsie & his escapades. Once again, I upstaged others with a bit of fiddling around with the phone, pissing off the others but amusing the audience.

There are several memorable songs from this one, but this is the only one I have a record of:

I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Who can understand anything they say.
They are disobedient, disrespectful punks!
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy – weirdos!
And while we're on the subject,
You can talk and talk 'til your face is blue!
But they still do just what they want to do!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in ev'ry way?
What's the matter with kids today?

I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
How can one put up with those creeps, I say!
They are so degenerate, sitting in the bar.
Smoking , drinking, never thinking of the – future when they're older
They are just impossible to command!
With their awful clothes and those hip-hop bands.
Why can't they be like the old days?
What's wrong with rock 'n roll?
What's the matter with kids today!!

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